Halloween Is No Longer The Scariest Day Of The Year

Halloween, for generations, has traditionally been the scariest day of the year.  Ghosts and goblins, skeletons and demons, vampires and werewolves and all sorts of other things that creep, crawl and go bump in the night were said to roam the world, creating chaos, mischief and evil.

They have sadly been replaced by other, scarier and more real monstrosities.

One is the conservampire, led by their kind, Count Walkula, who gives a whole new meaning to the phrase "blood-sucking weasel."

Even a more immediate threat to one's sanity and one's very life is the threat of an unbalanced, hate-filled woman with a criminal history of drunken violence carrying a gun:

If that doesn't scare the hell out of you, you probably need some professional help as well.