He writes about a young woman in Ojai, California, nicknamed the Pastie Lady.
Fischer, who makes sure he posted the pictures of the young lady, but forgets the link to the article, writes this in his intro to the story (the adolescent emphasis is his, not mine):
Authorities are looking into the possibility of public indecency charges and have assigned some lucky devil to examine the case.
Now if she'd just stand on the corner of 76th and Rawson on a warm Saturday morning or afternoon advertising a car wash or carryout pizza, there'd be no problem!
I'm sure the young lady would love to have a fella like Fischer coming over to ogle her while he drooling on his shirt. But if that thought wasn't enough to keep her away from Milwaukee, Fischer also enjoys a little sophomoric banter with his good buddy, Fred Keller. (Keller, for the unfamiliar, is some nut who can't tell his left from his right.):
And just think, this is the guy that tells us how we are supposed to live and admonishes people for not being good Christians.
The questions still remains: Why does Mary Lazich keep him? Why does WISN still keep him? Why does PBS still keep him? Why does the town of Franklin still keep him?
How come his Valentine's still got Johnny Cash giving the finger to 'Real Debate Wisconsin'? I thought they were slightly to the right of Attila the Hun.
ReplyDeleteBecause Keller is as smart as the droppings of Attila's elephant.
ReplyDeleteUmm Cap...
ReplyDeleteThe Town of Franklin keeps him because I'm assuming that is Fischer's imaginary town, which is within the City of Franklin's limits.
Now if we discuss the City of Franklin, I know the people of this fine community can tolerate individuals like Fischer. We have for how many years now?
But hey, if he announced his departure on the blog, and moved away from Franklin due to it being a tax hell, I highly doubt the people will shed a single tear over it.
Sir Knight, I have to disagree. I've been to Franklin. I've worked in Franklin. And I've been to cities. Franklin is no city.
ReplyDeleteThe good people of Franklin due tend to think highly of themselves, what with giving fancy, if rather silly, names to what was and always be known at South 27th Street. Now, it's all "We're a city, not a town". Sheesh. :)
But the townsfolk of Franklin should be able to tolerate Fischer. After all, you have both On The Border and the House of Correction. Methinks he falls somewhere between them.
I wouldst be glad to help Fischer pack myself, given that he promises to move far, far away and to stay there.
Ahem King,
ReplyDeleteAs a Franklin resident, I will defend my community.
We might have tons of strip malls and plenty of sprawled out subdivisions, but according to the State of Wisconsin, and goshdarnit the United States of America, we ARE a city.
Now I will remind you that on this ridiculously-named Disrict there is a campus for Northwestern Mutual, a Wheaton hospital, and tons of big boxes. I'll also let you know that Liberty Trust, the same company that built the wonderful Park Place office park, is currently building some industrial buildings on the silly-willy named district as well.
Oh, I'll also state that any community that has a strip mall in their civic center deserves the title "city." Here, here!
So OK, the City of Franklin flubs up...a lot...but we're changing for the better. Take a second glance at us, Capper. We're too busy ousting the people who made and are making our city a land of strip malls, asphalt parking lots, and gas stations. New leaders bring new ideas.
You also forgot that Franklin has a landfill and a toxic superfund site, of which the superfund site and On the Border are on this Boom to da Doomgaard District.
When you decide to come to Franklin again, make sure to make a visit and say "hello."
GK
capper if you are taking up a collection to send fischer far far away count me in.
ReplyDeletethrow in sykes, mcpastie (sp?) mcbridled belling and i'll take out a second mortage on my castle to contribute
metro-
ReplyDeleteBut do you have any cultural venues besides OTB? Strip malls are a dime a dozen. Even little towns in central WI have strip malls.
And civic center? Bah. Franklin's civic center is the parking lot of a gas station. ;)
On a side note, everytime I see or hear the would be name for S. 27th St., I keep thinking of Ta Ra Da Boomgaard, eh! It goes along with the southside speak, does it not?