Monday, May 7, 2007

Jessica solves the unemployment problem

Don't sit there in the central city saying there aren't any jobs.

Look in the classifieds. Whallah! Good jobs for everyone!

Sorry we ever doubted. She's a genius.

The March unemployment figures put the Milwaukee metro area jobless rate at 5.5%, but that doesn't count a lot of "discouraged" workers who are not officially in the pool and actively looking. That rate equals 43,932 people looking for work.

The headline on McBride's post is a classic:

In the same way, I have marveled at the fact that there is just enough news every day to exactly fill the pages of the Journal Sentinel. They never run out, and there's never any extra. Whallah!

Then there's the fact that there are just the right number of every kind of job to match the population -- just enough executive jobs for people who want to be executives, and enough garbage collection jobs for people who want to collect garbage.

This must be what they call Intelligent Design, no?

1 comment:

  1. C'mon, you're not giving enough credit here.

    Apparently, also solved is the crucial measure of a newspaper's financial status, classified linage -- as every JS stockholder like her ought to know.

    So the huge decrease in classified ads at the JS has not actually happened, after all. Whallah!

    And it's the altruism of the JS that is saving trees. Whallah!

    But now, without all those blank pages in the Sunday paper that used to be filled by all those jobs that were filled, at least in her worldview, this city faces a serious shortage of scratchpaper.

    Maybe she could fix that next, with a bit of journalistic abracadabra -- and a Whallah!